He loves me!

The perfect time to tell your girlfriend that you love her for the first time is when she’s about to break up with you because she thinks you don’t care about her.

Me: Lately, I just feel like I’m this emotional weight on you and I don’t like feeling that way.

Him: You know I love you, right?

Me: If I knew that, do you think I would have tortured myself for the past week about how you felt about me?

Boys are dumb.