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Eat. Pray. Love.

November 5, 2008

So I just finished Eat Pray Love and let me tell you, if you haven’t read it, by gosh, you SHOULD. I have never read a book where I felt so connected with the author on so many levels and learned so much about myself in the process.

What I realized about myself is that as much as I talk about not letting fear rule your life, I let fear rule my life. I am constantly avoiding anything that could be construed as conflict for fear of actually having to deal with it.

I also discovered that I really suck at relationships — I’m selfish and yet still too giving, but never willing to just let go and let the relationship (with a man or woman) go on its natural course. Instead, I feel the need to wrangle it into something that I can control.

Yep, I’m a control freak. While this isn’t a new discovery of myself, I did realize that I sure like to control a hell of a lot more in this world than I like to let on, and that the feeling of not being in control stresses me out to unGodly levels.

Which is explains why I’ve been so unbalanced lately. Everything in my life feels strangely out of control lately, and it bothers me to no end. What I need is to just learn to relax, trust and let go. Easier said than done, my friends, but I’m committed to trying.

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