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Now that it’s happening, I think I kinda like it.

April 3, 2008

Well gee, it’s been almost 8 months since I started dating my boyfriend. And 8 months since he told me that he really hesitated to get involved with me because of Alissa, and me swearing up and down to him that I wasn’t looking to make a family, that I would cross that bridge if it became something serious. Considering my serious commitment issues since the divorce, I think I can officially admit that this is real potatoes.

We went to dinner the other night, which was really nice, seeing as I don’t get to spend a lot of time with him. Alissa was being a royal brat, throwing things and hitting, and just being an all-out toddler. I was very proud of my boyfriend for keeping his cool, but when we talked this morning, he said that he was still feeling a little upset that she was so violent with him. It was what he said next that hit home that he is finally on board with the concept of parenthood.

He said that he suspects that the reason Alissa acts out when she’s with other people is because she’s constantly being shuffled from daycare to daycare while I work and go to school, and while she recognizes that I’m her mother, she has a plethora of adult roles in her life that she’s not sure who to get attached to and who not to. Even I hadn’t thought that much about it, but I realized when he said it that there’s probably a hefty amount of truth to that. I was just floored that he’d even taken the time to consider the situation, much less analyze it to that degree.

Coupled with the fact that he made the perfect comment on his views of infidelity (“if I felt I had to worry about that, I wouldn’t be in the relationship because I don’t have time for that kind of drama.”), I think I fell a little harder for him today.

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