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Nice to meet you. I’m Eunice Mommy.

December 4, 2007

I need to preface this post with the fact that I totally love being a mother. I’m sure that you guys know that, given how much I love talking about Alissa. Lately though, I feel like I have completely lost my identity outside of that. Well at least, to others it seems I have.

I recently joined a small group through my church so that I could get to know some people other than the couple that originally invited me to go. I got placed with one that is three other couples with kids and a single gal who is probably about my age. They are all great people, and I would love to get to know them more — except we never seem to get there.

Last Sunday, we arrived at our host’s house, and as the kids terrorized each other and trashed the house, we adults looked on and talked about said children. If I was the single gal, the only one in the group without children, I would have been going batty. My child was one of those and I was done with the kid talk about 5 minutes after it started. About two hours later, the group finally decided it was time to focus on the task at hand, and by that point, Alissa was near-meltdown, so I left and missed the whole reason I came.

Then on Friday, I was really excited to meet one of my sweetie’s friends — they went to high school together and have been friends since — and it was the first of his friends that I have really gotten to spend real time with. As we sat down for lunch, Alissa flashed him one of her signature grins and it began — the parental questions. “Does she sleep well at night?” “How does she do with eating?” “Does she go to daycare?” and then transitioned to the anecdotal tales of what I have to look forward to when Alissa gets to his kids’ age. And while the conversation was enjoyable and flowed quite naturally, I realized later that the entire discussion was centered on Alissa.

My irritation in the matter really sunk in on Saturday, when an invitation to join some friends for dinner was never extended, and the reason that was given for my exclusion was that if I brought Alissa, the night would be about her, and nobody wanted that. I volunteered that had I would have found a sitter if I had been invited, but that at that point, it was too late. They apologized for not thinking of that, but I was hurt that my friends didn’t want to spend time with me because of her.

When did I stop being Eunice and become nothing more than Alissa’s mother? I happen to be a really interesting person that has a child. Even my conversations with my best friend tend to get reduced to talking only about the kids or going places with the kids. Although Alissa is the center of my world, I don’t need to live a kid-centric life, do I? Can I have a conversation with other adults where they are interested in the parts of me that do not involve motherhood? Or was that something I gave up the morning I gave birth?

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