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Not exactly sure what I feel about it.

November 17, 2007

Mr. wishy-washy and I had a talk yesterday — the “where is this relationship going?” talk that I was hoping to have this week, but somehow, even though it seems that we’re on the same page, I left feeling like maybe I still don’t know what I want.

Now that we live 30 miles apart rather than under the same roof, I’ve spent some time reflecting on what I think of the relationship and where I see it going, and I still come to the same conclusion that while it could be fun for an unknown amount of time, I see an end in the future. I see the relationship running its course and us walking away as friends, I just don’t know if that’s a year down the road or 10 or 20. But do I want it to end just yet? I’m not so sure. But is it fair to stick out a relationship I know isn’t forever? I don’t know.

He, on the other hand, thought that the space would be just what he needed to figure out what he wants, assuming that he would enjoy the peace & quiet in his life again. Instead, he found himself missing Alissa and me like crazy. In the same breath, he said that maybe we should stop seeing each other and maybe not end it just yet. So it sounds like he’s as conflicted as I am.

I have been thinking about it all night and I still don’t know what the right answer is. I just know that the idea of us not being together right now kinda sucks.


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