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The voice of reason

November 10, 2007

I don’t know what it was about the sermon last Sunday, but the topic of forgiveness really got my brain going…about things that it should not be going about.

I have been thinking non-stop about Kevin all week. The same Kevin that was one of my best friends. The same Kevin that I was hopelessly in love with. The same Kevin that I completely lost it on and haven’t spoken to in two years. I miss him, I do.

So last night, I did what any irrational girl longing to talk to an old flame who she still obviously has feelings for would do: I called…

…my best friend so that she could talk some sense into me. I’m glad that I did, because she convinced me not to talk to him, at least for the moment. I still really want to call him. I feel really bad that last night, I stayed with the guy I’m currently dating, and as I fell asleep in his arms, I had a smile plastered on my face — because I was thinking about Kevin.

I don’t know what I expect to gain from contacting him. Our friendship (or the other side of that) will never be the friendship that it once was, so I would only disappoint myself to expect that from him. Or me even.

So how can I overcome the overwhelming urge just to call him and see if he’ll talk to me?

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