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August 28, 2006

Okay people. It’s time for another episode of Eunice’s wedding etiquette soapbox.

Wedding tip #1: When attending a wedding where the cake is being served, sit your butt in your seat and wait for it to be served to you. Do not approach the cake table and crowd those that are trying to cut and serve it.

On Saturday night, we had a wedding of 210 people, which is far more than our facility can hold, so we had to have some of the guests in a tent out back. It poured the whole day. The lawn was about ready to float away (literally). The bride was freaking out because all she wanted was an outdoor ceremony. We had two new servers training and of the remaining 6, only two are very good. Tensions were high. I was seriously about to kill people. This was all before time for cake.

Wedding tip #2: Stick with a normal cake. If you want to do something unique, save it for the favors, your ceremony, or your centerpieces. Just let the cake be cake.

The cake layers were not your average cake. The top, strawberry shortcake. Next, caramel cheesecake, cookies and cream cheesecake, and then death by chocolate.

Wedding tip #3: Cheesecake is not designed to be part of your traditional wedding cake. If you do cheesecake, make them individual cheesecakes on different size pedestals. This makes it much easier to cut. It also helps if it is still slightly frozen when it’s delivered so that it is not too soft to cut by cake time.

When it was time to cut the cake, we gathered our equipment and went to work on the cake. The first layer was a piece of cake (pun completely intended). After that, it was a complete nightmare. The cheesecake was crumbling all over the place because it was too soft, and of course, people had requests as to which layer of cake they wanted (it doesn’t work that way people, it’s just luck of the draw). Then everyone started crowding around, standing in a line that crossed the entire room. I seriously have never seen a line that long for cake (and my servers wouldn’t even let me turn around to see it when it was at its worst). We ended up not serving the cake, but cutting it and giving it to people as they stood in line. No matter how many times we told people that we would be coming around to their table with cake, they would not sit. I was about to stab someone between the eyes with the knife.

And then I hit the death by chocolate layer. This layer included two layers of chocolate cake, seperated by chocolate frosting, then a layer of fudge, then some sort of cookie layer, then a brownie layer. Oh and it was still frozen in the middle, so I about broke my knife trying to hack through it. It was really good, but it was a complete pain in the ass to cut. I about lost it when a guy was standing in line and says, “your first time cutting the cake, huh?” I almost turned into the cake nazi right there. I wanted to scream, “no cake for you!” Instead I snapped back, “no, this is about my 80th cake, and this one wins the prize for most difficult to cut.” It’s called death by chocolate because you may end up killing someone who makes fun of you for having trouble cutting it.

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