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It’s a small world all right

August 11, 2006

I was at work yesterday going over the events for next week when the groom’s name caught my eye. The reason that it caught my eye is because it’s such an unusual name and I realized — I know this guy. How do I know him, you ask?

Well…he used to work for the company I worked for years ago, then he moved on to become a manufacturer’s rep and called on my company. I have never met the guy in person, but because he was buddies with my ex-friend, we tried to throw a lot of business his way. So at first, I thought, small world. Will be nice to finally put a face with the name.

But then my overactive imagination didn’t stop there. What if my ex-friend is invited to the wedding? Or worse? What if he’s IN the wedding? And the rest of my afternoon was consumed with if I was ready for that confrontation or not and how would I handle it if it was.

Then my brain switched to what if he’s aware of the fact that we would run into each other? Does he hate me enough to avoid his friend’s wedding on my account? Is he dreading showing up as much as I’m dreading seeing him? It’s been almost 10 months since that night, and although I have made attempts to smooth things over, he’s ignored me every time. So I finally stopped trying a few months ago.

Then of course I had to tire myself with the “so what if he is there and I politely say hi and he’s willing to talk?” then what? Could we make up and go back to being friends? How badly would our friendship be impacted? What if we decided not to be friends, but I finally got some closure? Would I be okay with that? What if he didn’t want to talk? Would I be tortured all night, watching him enjoy hisself and not being able to speak to him?

I could seriously go on all day. And I did. Even long after I realized that there is probably no chance of any of this happening. What is more likely than anything is that because my ex-friend no longer works in the industry, they aren’t really good buddies anymore and he wasn’t even invited to the wedding. Still, it’s not going to keep me from being completely apprehensive when I go to work that day.

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