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Welcome to motherhood

July 27, 2006

I’ve been officially inducted into the motherhood club. I know it because I’ve begun exhibiting some of the signs of membership.

1) I wear my spit-up stains proudly.
My mom invited me to go to breakfast this morning because we don’t have any groceries in the house because she didn’t go shopping in anticipation of being in Page this week. So I pulled a shirt out of my suitcase and put it on. My current laundry sorting method is simple: dirty in the laundry basket, clean in the suitcase. The other day, I had worn one of my tank tops for all of an hour, so I threw it back in the suitcase. Apparently, I had forgotten about the fact that I had been spit up on. We’re sitting at breakfast and my mom says, “uhm, that shirt isn’t clean.” So I went to the bathroom to check it out and sure enough, the residuals of a previous spit-up geyser adorned the entire front. Note to self: look in the mirror before leaving the house.

2) 9:00 is now bedtime — and a late one at that.
Last night, my mom and I had to bring my dad up to one of his job sites so he could pick up some equipment and follow him home. It was about 8 when we left, and when he said it was going to take an hour just to get up there, I freaked because I was ready for bed. My dad really wanted me to go because my mom gets lost easily and I’ve been driving those roads since I was 8 and I could keep her from getting lost. Then I looked at the clock and was embarrassed. Good thing she didn’t need my help, I ended up falling asleep shortly after we started making our way back.

3) Instead of having the latest irritating pop song stuck in my head, it’s lullabies.
I have no idea what song it is that my mom keeps singing to quiet my daughter, but it’s annoying and it’s stuck in my head. It’s been driving me nuts for days. On the other hand, I’ve managed to make “Margaritaville” a lullaby.

4) I spent $125 at Target and all I got out of the deal was a stick of deodorant.
Alissa got some really cool shades though.

5) I’m learning how to cut meat with the dull of my fork because I don’t have a second hand free to operate a knife.
Chicken, pork, beef, you name it. Just because a meal takes me an hour and a half to eat now, at least she’s letting me enjoy the first part of it while it’s hot.

6) My diaper bag doubles as a purse.
I did the diaper bag and purse combo for all of a day and a half before learning that it simply wasn’t practical. Today I found the bonus $20 that you forgot you had — tucked in a pocket behind the butt paste.

Don’t think that I’m complaining, I’m loving this. It’s taking a little getting used to, but I’m managing a-ok. Although I do head back to Denver on Monday. I could have a different story by then.

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