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I think she’s gonna be a soccer player

March 14, 2006

I’ve been having some technical difficulties in dealing with the scanner at work, so the ultrasound pictures are still a work in progress. They are coming though, really. I swear.

I’m starting to look a lot more pregnant these days, even though I just feel like I have a giant beer belly and the fitness-a-holic in me has to resist the urge to do 400 sit ups in an effort to flatten it out again. One thing working for me in that department is that it’s not exactly easy to just sit up anymore, so crunches would be completely impossible.

I still don’t feel pregnant though, aside from being incredibly tired and the increasingly regular kicks to the ribs I experience as I lay down to sleep each night. However, last night, I realized for the first time that at some point, this baby has to come out of me, and suddenly, everything felt quite real. I don’t know what it was that made me think about that, but I guess maybe it’s just that everything has finally sunk in. It scared me, I can tell you that much.

I still have a lot to do in order to prepare for this baby, but my mom has made me swear to wait until she gets here on Monday to do anything more. She thinks I’m doing too much because in my frustration in not being able to find decent maternity clothes, I pacified myself by buying things for the baby instead. I assured her that is not the case, but what can I tell her? She’s my mother. And now I’m likely to end up just like her someday. Scary.

The past few weeks have left me in a state of reflection most nights, and while I’ve accepted the path that my life has taken, I still torture myself with endless bouts of “what if’s?” while simultaneously looking back and being proud of where I’ve been. It’s kind of weird, I’m not sure how to explain it.


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