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Slowly remove your jaw from the floor

June 23, 2005

All I can say right now is holy shit. I just got some shocking news. Shocking in a wow-I’m-surprised-and-yet-somehow-not kind of way.

Okay, let me back track for a moment.

At the beginning of September, I kicked my ex out and went on with my life. Which included my annual volunteer shift at the Fremont Oktoberfest. Which, in Seattle, is held in September, because there’s less chance of rain.

I met this cool guy. He liked my beer, we kept talking all night. The beer was good, but not the best one there, so I had a feeling it wasn’t all about the beer.

A few days later, we went on the best first-date-after-dumping-your-husband ever. We had a few beers at a pub in Green Lake, and then just wandered around talking, laughing, and then we laid on the dock for hours, watching what we could see of the stars through the layer of clouds that permanently blankets the city. I told him about my situation, he told me about being married at 19 and how he doesn’t really think about having been divorced. It was just nice. It was like having someone that could kind of relate to how I felt. At 3 am, he walked me back to my car and I had the best goodnight kiss I’d had in over six years.

We decided to see each other again. We met up again the night that my ex’s parents were in town. I was supposed to see them, I wanted to see them, but I went on this date instead. We drank beer, played pool, and made out like teenagers. It was a fun afternoon stretched into night. And without thinking, I invited him back to my place.

Where we did it all night and halfway into the next day. But not because the sex was any good, but because I hadn’t been laid in almost six weeks and my body was in need. In fact, he was a bit er, mis-shapen. He seemed to enjoy it, although I’m not sure if it was that I was so great or he was just turned on because he “love[d] the faces [I] make.” I don’t know what that was all about. I just remember waking up the next afternoon and looking at him, thinking, “what have I just done, and why haven’t you left yet?” After that, I avoided him until I began my whirlwind traveling fall, and I never saw him again.

Well…out of boredom or something, tonight, I randomly checked his blog to see what he’s up to. He just got married over memorial day weekend. To a girl he’d met three weeks before. I’m shocked, and yet, not so much so…the reason I liked him was because he was such a spontaneous person. That was about the extent of my attraction to him, but still. I’m happy for him though. I think the shock factor comes out of the insanity of it all. Or maybe I’m shocked that it shocked me. I don’t know.

The question that it really plagues my life with is that I just don’t get how anyone can commit for life to someone they still barely know? What is it that makes these people so sure that they’ve found their soulmate? After what I’ve been through, I would want to be really sure about it before I would do it again. Hence, why I said that there’s only one person I would marry if asked tomorrow.

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