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Forecast: Cloudy Skies and Chance of Rain

May 21, 2005

Or at least that’s how I still feel this morning. I just got out of bed about an hour ago. I have a lot to do today, so I set my alarm for 8, but just couldn’t bring myself to get up.

I’m trying to cope with the multitude of emotions that are raging through me. From the anger of dealing with my ex, to the pain caused by my ex-friend, to the sadness of leaving Julia behind in Seattle after we had a great week together; add to that the underlying stress that I’ve had since the beginning of last month, and I’m not seeing sunny skies today. Although physically, outside, it’s gorgeous, and supposed to be another warm day. Hopefully, I’ll get a chance to get out and enjoy it.

I stayed up watching When Harry Met Sally last night. It seems that whenever I’m saddened about my relationships, I turn to that movie for comfort. I used to watch it when my ex was out of town, I don’t know why. It’s interesting how a movie like that can have completely different meanings to you depending on your current state of mind. Last night, the parallels to my own life were eerily evident. In the scene when Harry is telling Jess about his wife leaving him for another man and how the mover, “Mr. Zero,” knew about it before he did, I was reminded that the same thing happened to me, pretty much. It seems that everyone knew that my ex and I were over before I ever did. Was I in denial about it? Probably so. But even if I knew in the back of my head that it was coming, why does it hurt so much that it happened? Can you ever be truly ready to face a truth like that?

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